In organisations, unrest is sometimes confused with engagement. Those who ask questions, express doubts or 'feel something' are seen as sharp, caring or responsible. But what if that unrest itself is the problem?
More and more, I see not failing processes or wrong decisions, but people who manage their unrest by 'problems'. Not because something is going wrong, but because stagnation feels uncomfortable or unbearable to them.
When unrest becomes work
Unrest management arises when someone transfers their inner tension to work. Small signals are blown up into issues. Neutral situations acquire an emotional charge. And before you know it, the discussion is no longer about direction or choices, but about feelings, suspicions and stories.
Work thus becomes a container for personal unrest.
What stands out: the more attention unrest receives, the more everything comes to a standstill.
From problem to story
A next step in this pattern is the shift to personal stories. The supposed solution suddenly lies not in decision-making, but in understanding everyone's background, intention or injury.
“We need to express this first.”
“This touches something deeper.”
“As long as this is not processed, we cannot move forward.”
That sounds empathetic, but makes progress conditional. Everything becomes dependent on inner processes that cannot be completed. The result is paralysis.
Empathy without boundaries thus becomes not care, but direction.
The hidden function of unrest
Unrest management is rarely conscious. It serves a function:
• it gives a right to exist (I am needed),
• it creates control (I see dangers),
• it prevents responsibility (as long as it is not clear, we do not have to choose).
The person often experiences the problems as real. But the system pays the price.
Why leaders often go along with this
Leaders want to be caring. They want to listen, provide space, create safety. And that is exactly where it pinches. Because not everything presented as a problem is automatically relevant to the work.
Those who continue to facilitate unrest, confuse understanding with direction.
Meaningful leadership requires something different: the ability to recognise unrest without making it leading.
Setting boundaries is also leadership
You do not break through unrest management by working harder or digging deeper, but by framing.
That means:
• it distinguishes between feeling and fact,
• determines what is relevant for the work today,
• makes decisions despite emotional noise.
Sentences that help:
• “What is specifically on the agenda today?”
• “What part of this story is needed to move forward?”
• “This may be true, and we are now going to make a decision.”
That sometimes feels uncomfortable. But clarity enlightens.
Value based leadership
Meaningful leadership is not about solving all unrest, but about providing direction when others have lost it. About knowing when listening is helpful — and when it is time to stop talking.
Calm does not arise from discussing everything, but from knowing what you leave behind.
Reflection question
What unrest is being managed in your work situation and which important decisions are being postponed as a result?